Even a person lacking charismatic gifts can develop solid content. Always share something the audience finds valuable to their lives.

It's hard to hate someone you laugh with. The best speakers find a way to get people smiling early in the program. It opens hearts and makes the group receptive. You don't have to be hilarious, just humorous

There's no excuse for rambling through a presentation. Have your notes structured in way that keeps you on pace and on target. Listeners should feel they received a message that made sense and was easy to remember.

Some speakers try to get in and get out as fast as possible, but the audience likes to know the speaker is available an approachable. One of the best ways to make a good impression is to get to the event early and meet people as they come in.

It's said that honest arrogance is preferred over false humility. We all want to know people are being honest with us and that what we see is what we get. Be true to yourself and others by being the same around everyone. That way you don't feel like one person in front of an audience and another person at other times

Last night I actually watched BookSpan (on CSPAN) for the first time. I've flipped by before and mostly viewed it as a cure for insomnia. However, Walter Isaacson author of Benjamin Franklin An American Life was speaking. Having read the book I wanted to see how well he presented the material. He did a great job. I got the impression that he would be the same off the podium as he was in front of the microphone. A great example of natural expression.

Speaking transfers energy with words. The more passion passes through the message the greater the chance of it being remembered and applied. No one has ever said, "I sure hope the speaker is boring." Instead they like to say things like, "Wow! She sure was excited about her message."

Notice how often you put your own interpretation on what somebody says to you. For example if your friend says "I don't want to go to the cinema this evening," does it mean that they don't want to spend time with you? Notice how many times a day you decide what other people mean by what they say rather than really listening to what they have said.

Just listen to what the other person says. Make no judgements whatsoever. Acknowledge your understanding of what they have said - using our above example you may simply say "so you don't want to go to the cinema this evening." Even though it may sound like you are parroting them, they will actually feel heard and they'll have the opportunity to expand on what they do want to do or why they don't want to go to the cinema. This then opens up the conversation between you.

Another way of listening at the second level is to listen for the emotion. Does the other person sound tired, irritated, pleased, cross, curious or surprised? Acknowledge the emotion by say "you sound tired" and then leave an opening for them to respond and take the conversation further. They will feel heard and know you are trying to understand them. Don't worry if you get the emotion wrong, they will tell you how exactly how they feel and you can continue from there.

If they say they don't want to go to the cinema, don't jump in with "typical of you, you never want to do anything." Your friend's ears will just fall off and he or she will not hear anything else you have to say.

Once you understand and have clarified what the other person has said, go back with what you would like to have happen and start the process all over again. Relationships are not meant to be one-sided.